Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Our AMMA


Furmoish from Chuppamani: “ write about our mother. I was too young and cannot recall much about her”
CHUPPU  As she was affectionately called was petite, charming woman with a smiling countenance and a soft almost musical voice. Her complexion was மா நிறம் an euphemism for dark but she was not as dark as our sethu mama but certainly looked so standing next to appa with his glowing complexion. She wore only மடிசாரு ( nine yards saree). Friendly—among her good friends was Kalyani mami whose grand daughter is Savithri w/o Sriram. She visited and played Tennikoit (ring tennis) in Sevuga pandian Town club wearing மடிசாரு!! There was a group photo of ladies attending the club.I have saved it somewhere? Amma was sitting in the front row in wearing nine yards and covering herself like we had seen MS subbulakshmi did. This was  before Chuppamani & his younger sisters were born. Salute her for emancipation from a docile girl born & brought up in Azhwarkurichi a tiny village with pronounced archaic ‘traditions’. Also doff your hat to her husband without whose encouragement this would not have been possible. This is the club where all her three sons learnt tennis & her husband came to relax ,cracking jokes  on vadagalais & thenkalais, poking fun at them for eating separately in parties ! There was some chemistry between her & her husband. As children we had NEVER NEVER once heard a harsh word exchanged between them.  There were no loud “hello dearest” but an understanding & respect which none of us in this generation can either comprehend or appreciate. TA mama f/o chamy told me (almost mockingly)  “your appa will not take a final decision without approval from your amma”. This was when appa was negotiating to buy ‘the big house’ (dispensary cum cutcheri hall’) .Rs.9000 was the final price & I must record the help of Chamy in this deal.( I sold this to Chamy for Rs.30000 And he sold it later for 300000!!!)We had never seen or heard discussions on this vital issue between appa & amma but I was too young to fathom this unique relationship.
A few vignettes I remember: அப்பளா கச்சேரி—appalam making –was an event about a dozen ladies assembled in the ரேழி (central hall) of the house and ‘rolled’ appalams. Time also for gossip , & the place was out of bounds for men & children!! Amma laughed loud and enjoyed trivia exchanged.  //    On ஸ்ரார்தம் (annual remembrance day for the departed elders in the family) servants were not allowed inside the house. Amma swept & swabbed the entire house and prepared the elaborate vathyar sappadu, assisted by Kalyani mami.  //  She wanted her only brother Sethu to stay with us & get educated. Appa agreed but Perichammai vetoed it. Neither the son nor the daughter in law even whispered a protest. That was Perichammai.  //   Appa was kind, still  his personality & status was a bit intimidating to me. Hence whenever I wanted to go to ‘cinema’ I always requested amma to obtain permission from appa and jumped with joy on hearing the word “சரி”.from him. Amma gave whatever amount I mentioned. I used to get enough to take two of my friends who could not have managed it. Ticket price:four ana!! Poor Amma, she had no idea how much ticket cost was.  //  She was very very fond of her eldest son.( Perhaps this special bonding ensured that anna reached in time to do the last rites for her. More about it later).  //   She adored Ambi –the ONLY grand child she was destined to see.  //  Among her friends were TA mama’s wife, Soundaram mami, Kalyani mami and DEVAKI. Devaki was not a Brahmin but had free access to Suppu’s house.( Appa also never queried who my friends were with whom I shared food / small eats in the house) Devaki was a mid wife EXPERT in conducting deliveries AT HOME. She was the one who helped in deliveries of Lakshmi, Suppamani,Papa& Bavani as well as couple of abortions. She was the wife of Krishnaswamy Naidu, a close friend of appa.She was accepted as a member of Suppu’s family. I remember her chiding me for ‘shaving’ on amavasai day and you could have guessed my age then but she addressed me டே கண்ணா!! I resented it then when none of us were ever spoken to in such loud way by my mother. An odd occasion amma had to pull up the servant or someone it was at best an admonition rather than a ‘dressing down’.  //  Kolattam:  Bonhomie was delightful! Distinct groups –‘kutties’ in pavadai/blouse, Little older with pavadai & dhavani, , next was where my age group was ogling all the way to Thirumukkulam (town tank) those who wore saree for the first time and the last was மடிசாரு mamis including amma. The groups were by no means exclusive. Singing solo & in groups during performing kolattam was the event noted for its colour & gay abandon. I have never heard amma sing. I don’t think she learnt at all. It was perhaps not an important item in ‘biodata for marriage’ those days!     
Appa suffered a stroke. A few months earlier he had written to me- I still preserve that post card- He said “ as I am penning this letter I noticed saliva dropping on the paper. I wiped the lips but was shocked to note that I did not feel the touch of my finger. A few moments later I was alright & I could feel the sensation on the lips. Is this an indication of an impending stroke? If so I pray that I should die & not live paralyzed” A pity that the good lord did not listen. TIA-Transient Ischaemic Attack _ is the name given to this warning signal for stroke. Appa could not have read about it because it appeared in text books that I read but his judgment was ‘spot on’ by sheer clinical acumen!!  I had bought a few bottles of Lomedex (low molecular weight dextran) & left them with Dr. Ramaswamy (anna’s classmate practicing in SVPR) with instructions on how & when it should be given. No avail. Mani Shankar was with appa then.  I rushed from Pune (borrowing money from Surg comdr Kuppu).It was a ‘completed stroke’ and now only rehabilitation. Appa was in the upstairs room and my problem then was to stop volunteers pouring in to ‘help’.M.L.Vasantakumari  had come to Thirunelveli for a concert & when informed about appa’s stroke desired to see him Mr.Vaithi elder B/O Kasi stopped at our house on their way by road to Madurai. MLV sang one thiruppavai in the ragam set by appa.Appa’s speech had not been restored fully but tears in his eyes expressed his thanks.  
More about amma I came to know from Jaya!. Appa was taken to Pune because anna was posted in Kirkee, a satellite town of Pune and I in Pune. During the time he spent with us -16 Right Flank Lines Wanowri-appa & jaya used to talk & talk . Vignettes: Amma “ I hear there are 2nd & 1st class in trains. Will you take me in that?” Appa took amma in “intermediate class” (between 2nd&3rd!) from SVPR to Tenkasi. He recalled how happy amma was.  //  In Kizhambur Perichammai expected amma to draw water from the well & carry it all the way to kitchen.She was pregnant then. “ I didn’t like it at all” said appa “but I could not speak against Ponnu (perichammai’s name later given to my akka, Andal was added by my appa.)  // 
UNKINDEST CUT OF ALL : 1944 –Both amma & appa fell ill same time with a flu like illness. Anna was to come home for summer vacation but postponed the date to suit akka who was to join him with ambi. I had written “appa & amma are down with fever. Come early”.  //  Appa gets well In a day or two. Not amma. Worry on appa’s face unnerved us. “Typhoid with double pneumonia (term for broncho pneumonia those days)’ I over heard appa telling Mr.M.N.Sankara iyer, another close friend I was in Std 7 . Did not understand what it meant but that something serious is happening was not difficult to surmise. Ambi (s/o Ponnu chithi) who had come to spend school holidays & we literally ran to both Andal & Sivan Koil. I don’t remember the DATE but I remember the DAY-FRIDAY. Evening I find appa sobbing inconsolably ( Have I not mentioned  earlier his unacanny capacity to predict death) Dr Mathuranayagam. appa’s class mate was medical officer to Govt hospital in SVPR.He was brought in a bullock driven cart. (He was not sober enough to drive his car). A lady doctor ,residing in the same North Car Street, refused to come . Mr.M.N.Sankara iyer literally dragged her out & reached our house.  //  Anna & akka had boarded TRV express on FRIDAY night & should reach SVPR on Saturday about 10.30AM. //  9PM ONE penicillin vial arrives from ‘distant’ Madurai & was taken straight to the ONLY frig in SVPR Pothi Hotel. It was not administered. 11.30 PM our amma died. House & the street were all people all over even in that late hour. Bavani slept the night on my lap while I was leaning on the chettiar sleeping & yet not sleeping. I don’t recall where lakshmi, suppamani & papa were.  //  When TRV Express halts at Virudhunagar We usually make a bee line for the vadai ,a speciality there. Neither anna nor akka ate anything. They were yet to know, but still...Anna told me later “my first shock was when I did not see you at the station”.  Only car in SVPR belonging to Fund Office was sent to fetch anna & akka from railway station. The driver cried on seeing ‘doctor aiya’s children and could not be persuaded to say anything. On reaching home anna was shattered to see everything laid out for a funeral . Remember I had written that both amma & appa were ill. He did not know WHO till he heard appa screaming ‘Mani, have you come”. First time I related this train of events, I choked. I cannot write any more now also.
 Anna - I lied to you when I said I haven't yet read it. I have read it re read it & again read it. I don't know. I was at this age crying with in myself & & tears , chocked feeling leaving me gasping on Amma's last day. Thanks Anna, bless you, for this. The silent unspoken bond of Amma & appa - how very fortunate you are - yes I am jealous - Anna pl. go ahead give me more & more. 
I think Devaki was the malayalee mistress of the great Naidu - I never liked her - she used to hug me in the presence of Rengu, Cholai & other friends of mine .

Yes I too was overwhelmed with Appa's personality. I would steal money, go to cinema - he would take me to the small room in the dispensary house & scold me sometime would hit me but not in the presence of a third person, not even Alagagiri samy & my reward would come in the night he would hug me & allow me to sleep near him telling me all the time , "I won't be here with you forever. Study & do well like  kannan. Want anything ask me. Don't take money with out asking me". In retrospect I thank him for not using the word "steal".   
Strangely he hasn't mentioned Mani anna - his 1st son but only Kannan. I really envy you. 

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